Remarriage And Deuteronomy 24
Question: My husband and I married young in 1965. We were married many years, had two children and then divorced in 1980. We both remarried eventually and both divorced again. Now in our older years the Lord has brought us back together. We haven't remarried legally because of health issues involving federal insurance and income. We have been back together more than 10 years and feel we should renew our vows before the Lord. But then I read the first few verses of Deut 24 and I am so confused I don't know what to think. I haven't been able to find any corresponding verses else where in the Bible for further guidance. We want to make this right before the Lord. Can you help??
- Susan M.
Answer: I hear much pain and suffering through this story you sent to me. I am sorry that your life has taken you down those kinds of roads. I am thrilled that you are still interested in doing what is right before the Lord God.
The verses that you refer to in Deuteronomy 24 and many around that chapter are expanding on Deuteronomy 7:6 “For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.” As God called the people of Israel to be holy He spells out for them what being holy looks like.
A part of the holy life has to do with the way we look at marriage. In God’s eyes the covenant of marriage is an example of His relationship with us people. How faithful and loving a husband and wife are together is just a shadow of an example of how faithful and loving God wants to be in relationship with us.
Since we live in a fallen world. There are times that marriage does not represent God’s covenant very well. God knew that would happen. How does he still represent his faithfulness, and represent mercy and grace at the same time? To answer this question, God allows divorce in our fallen world. It is not God’s design. It breaks God’s heart. It is a regrettable option.
I think the purpose of Deuteronomy 24 is for us to remember the seriousness of divorce. We must never run from a marriage with the thought that if my dreams don’t work out, I can go back and remarry the person whom I left.
On the other hand, as an example of God’s grace, He will allow us to remarry after divorce. This is not God’s highest standard. He would rather we marry one person and remain true to that person our entire life. Through Grace, he will allow to start a new life following a divorce.
In light of Deuteronomy 24, I think that God’s standard is that we should not take a second chance on a relationship that failed once. People are likely to not change enough through the years to make the relationship work the second time around.
However, in your life, since the 2 of you have been in a relationship for 10 years, I think that God would rather have you honor that relationship through marriage. Your relationship can be an example of God’s grace and mercy to the world. A marriage that shows that your relationship has found forgiveness in the past and you are willing to work toward the future together is more honoring to God than have a 10-year and growing relationship outside the bonds of marriage.
I’m not sure if this helps at all. I would be happy to discuss this further with you, if you would like.
Thanks for asking,
PaRick
